


In Which Ohan Gains Perspective

by chaucer345



Series: Ohan Adjusts [1]
Category: Wayfarers Series - Becky Chambers
Genre: Aliens, Autism Spectrum, Gen, Outer Space, Slice of Life, Space Opera
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 08:51:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaucer345/pseuds/chaucer345
Summary: The starship Wayfarer's crew is like a family, but not everyone in that family has the same needs or understanding of the universe.The newly solitary Ohan seeks both peace, and social activity.Rosemary wants to help.





	In Which Ohan Gains Perspective

“Can I work with you?” The question had both confused and elated Rosemary when he asked it the first time.

 

She loved her work as a clerk for the tunneling ship (she was one of those strange people who genuinely enjoyed paperwork), but even she had to admit it got a bit repetitive from time to time.  Fortunately, her crew was practically family. So at least she was surrounded by her loved ones pretty much all the time.

 

Kizzy would never let her get too bored, Jenks and Dr. Chef were wonderful to relax with, Ashby was the kind of boss you could only dream of back in her Martian hometown, Sissix she was madly in love with, and Corbin…

 

Well, Corbin was someone who would always do the right thing. Even if it was simultaneously the wrong thing.

 

Which naturally lead to the one remaining member of the Crew. Ohan. Their adorable, quadrupedal fuzzy blue navigator.

 

In theory, Rosemary should have been extremely close with Ohan. They had worked together for over a year, saved each other’s lives, and they had nothing bad to say about each other.

 

But the truth was they hadn’t talked all that much in all that time together. And, much to Rosemary’s chagrin, it had a lot more to do with what Ohan was than who he was.

 

Ohan had, until very recently, been a Sianat pair. Sianat pairs were beyond brilliant. Their infection with the virus known as the Whisperer made them capable of feats of mathematical ingenuity far greater than even modern artificial intelligences. They could see the fabric of the universe unfolding around them with a sort of sixth sense and they were capable of incredible spatial reasoning.

 

But all that came at a price. Sianats were supposed to live short, bright lives as their infection consumed their minds and bodies in a process known as the Wane. Ohan should have died months ago. He had _asked_ to die months ago.

 

Except, due to a heroically cruel act, his wishes had been thrown straight out the window and he was now a solitary. He was expected to live another hundred and seventy Standards or so and was starting to climb out of his shell and eat dinner with the crew every now and then, an event that he seemed to greatly enjoy

 

He was happier… But his past self hadn’t wanted to be.

 

It was… Emotionally confusing to say the least.

 

So when, out of nowhere, Ohan had asked Rosemary if he could work in her office for a few hours a day she’d been elated.

 

But so far the experience of the past few days had been… less than stimulating.

 

He’d sit there in the corner, curled up on a cushion he’d dragged in and scribble at his scrib while Rosemary typed into hers.

 

It was completely fine. Totally inoffensive.

 

It was somehow even more boring than her job usually was.

 

“Can I ask you a question?” Came the sianat’s voice.

 

Rosemary nearly leapt out of her chair. She swiveled around to face the navigator as calmly as she could manage. “Of course!”

 

The sianat blinked at her with his massive eyes. “How did you integrate here so well?”

 

Rosemary was taken aback. “What do you mean?” It certainly wasn’t the line of questioning she’d been expecting… Not that she’d had any idea what to expect.

 

Ohan looked away. Was he embarrassed? He was the definition of hard to read. “You have a fulfilling job,” He replied, “many friends, even a romantic partner… How did you do it?”

 

It was quite the question. Rosemary sat back in her chair and thought on it. “To be completely honest, I’m not sure.”

 

Ohan winced. “That is… Unfortunate.”

 

He turned back to his scrib.

 

Rosemary considered her options… And decided to go for broke. “Why did you ask to come work with me?”

 

Ohan let out a breath. “Because this place,” He gestured to Rosemary’s tiny surrounding office (They could barely fit two people in it without touching.) “Is not loud.” He turned to the clerk. “And it’s not lonely.”

 

Rosemary smiled. It was… Actually pretty sweet. “I’m glad to see you coming out of your shell by the way.”

 

Ohan smiled softly back. Whether it was natural to a sianat or just something he’d copied she couldn’t say. But it seemed sincere enough. “I’m really glad to have this crew.”

 

He looked away again. Rosemary wondered if he had some sort of problem meeting her eyes. “I admit… My adjustment has been slow.”

 

Rosemary nodded. “I get the sense that socialization is… A new desire for you.”

 

Ohan let out a light chuffing sound. It took a moment, but Rosemary finally realized he was laughing. The sianat wiped away a tear. “Every desire is new for me. Every sensation is new for me too…”

 

His voice grew very quiet. “I think the Whisperer was bad.”

 

There was a long pause, with only the background humm of the ship’s systems to fill the room.

 

Rosemary agreed, of course, but she didn’t want to force her cultural assumptions on him. After all, the Whisperer virus was sacred to the Sianat. “Oh?”

 

Ohan curled up on his pillow ever so slightly. “It… I wasn’t able to feel anything unless I was in subspace. I was so… empty.”

 

He showed me his scrib, filled with complex equations I couldn’t begin to understand. “And I still have my sight. In fact I have more sight. Everything is so… loud.”

 

He twitched slightly. He sounded ashamed. “Including my friends.”

 

Rosemary felt a sharp pain forming in her chest, but she wasn’t going to force him to make himself uncomfortable. “Ohan… No one’s forcing you to come down and socialize. It’s okay if you want space. We’ll understand.”

 

“But I _want_ to socialize.” He said. “Rosemary, you…” His breath came out in a wheeze. “I like you. All of you. And… this is my home.”

 

He said it so simply. But it was clear he was _scared_. He wanted something he couldn’t have. Or something he could have, but only in smaller doses than he’d like.

 

It was a conundrum for sure. Rosemary sat back in her chair and thought about it. He was experiencing sensory overload, that was clear, but how did one dim the bulbs. “Ohan… How do you sense subspace?”

 

He blinked at the sudden change of topic. “I’m sorry?”

 

“I’m just curious. Is it visual, auditory, some other sense I’m not familiar with?”

 

Ohan looked perplexed. “I mostly process the stimulus visually.”

 

Rosemary nodded that she could actually help with. “I may have a thought.” She reached into her drawer and rooted around for a moment. Unsatisfied with what she found, she closed her drawer and stood up. “Are you up for a little field trip?”

 

Ohan blinked. “To the fishbowl? I am uncertain if that counts as a field…”

 

“That’s not… Never mind, just follow me I have an idea.”

 

#

 

“Um…” The ship’s mech tech looked very confused. “Not that I object to putting people in silly headgear, but why do you need a welding visor?”

 

Rosemary smiled. With most people she would have explained her plan in detail, but with Kizzie she just said. “It’s a surprise.”

 

The mech tech grinned and opened up a locker in her very messy room. Ohan looked a little twitchy. And, in retrospect, Rosemary wasn’t surprised. Kizzie’s room was filled with sights and smells that were a bit daunting even to Rosemary. Dismantled engines and piles of discarded snack wrappers filled the room and there was an alarming clatter of metal as she rooted around in her storage space.

 

Rosemary loved Kizzie, but to be honest she could do a lot better job cleaning her space.

 

In spite of the clutter, the mech tech quickly produced a large, polarized face shield. “Okay then. One welding visor. Now if you want a torch…”

 

Rosemary shook her head. “We’ll only need the visor.” She passed the headgear to the sianat behind her. “Try that on for me.”

 

Ohan, picking up on the idea, nimbly fastened on the shield with his long, dextrous claws. Then... he just stood there, silent. His expression completely obscured behind the screen.

 

Kizzie looked at Rosemary, starting to be a little more concerned. “Um… What exactly is going-?”

 

“This is it?” Ohan asked suddenly.

 

Rosemary blinked. “Um… What?”

 

He took off the visor. “You… I knew my senses were sharp, but… you can’t see it at all?”

 

Rosemary was completely lost. “I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did it work. Are you less overwhelmed  by…?”

 

She drifted off. He stared at the mask. He looked haunted. Almost… pitying.

 

Ohan turned around, an uncertain twitch in his step. His voice sounded choked “I’m sorry. I am so sorry. I shouldn’t- I don’t. Goodbye.” That said he bolted down the hall, welding mask held tight between his teeth.

 

#

 

_Three days later..._

 

Ashby had been a ship captain for most of his adult life. In that time he’d learned the delicate balance between interfering too much and letting interpersonal issues fester. Being a good leader was not just about knowing how to keep the ship stocked and the lights on, it was about making sure his crew felt comfortable around each other.

 

Of course, when it came to Ohan…

 

He admitted he was a bit out of his depth. The man’s personality had changed sharply and Ashby couldn’t get a solid read on him before he’d been cured.

 

So here he was outside his navigator’s door performing the most potentially volatile maneuver in his social arsenal.

 

Sitting down and directly talking to someone who was upset.

 

He knocked gently on the hunk of metal in front of him. Ohan opened the door and gave Ashby a respectful bow. “Captain?”

 

Ashby smiled grimly. “Ashby’s fine right now. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble I just want to talk.”

 

Ohan nodded and stepped aside to let the human in.

 

Ohan’s quarters had always been fairly Spartan when Ashby had entered before and while that was still largely the case, there were a few touches that had been added. A red ball from some Aeulon game sat in the corner and there was a tiny rack of spices near the futon he used as a bed. There were also more cushions and blankets in the room than Ashby had remembered. He actually had a place to sit down, which he promptly did (he was not old blast it!)

 

Ohan padded to another cushion across from Ashby and promptly looked down at the floor.

 

Ashby let out a long breath. On second thought, maybe some elderly gravitas was called for here. “Okay, so… It’s been a few days since you’ve come outside. I know you like to keep to yourself sometimes, but Rosemary is worried she did something to offend-”

 

“Rosemary did nothing wrong.” Ohan said, snapping up to meet his captain’s. “Neither did Kizzie. If anyone did anything wrong it’s me. I…” He looked to the side. “I’ll come out soon. I just didn’t realize how… privileged I am.”

 

Ashby blinked. “Could you run that by me again?”

 

Ohan sighed. He reached behind his cushion and pulled out a large plastic hunl the blast shield that had apparently started all of this. “When I look through this protective device, the portion of the electromagnetic spectrum I see is greatly reduced. I don’t see the universe’s… song, the way I usually do.”

 

He curled slightly. “I… I don’t remember a time before I had the Whisperer’s gifts. I knew intellectually that you all couldn’t… I mean…”

 

He let out a breath, as though searching for the proper words. “Imagine that you had only ever seen the world in color and then suddenly caught a glimpse of what the world looked like in black and white. You had seen black and white sims before, but you hadn’t… It hadn’t sunk in that that sort of thing was...”

 

He shook his head. “I am sorry, this is a poor analogy.”

 

Ashby shook his head. “No, I think I get it.” The captain tried to think of what he wanted to say but all that slipped out was. “You knew your crew was... nearsighted, but you didn’t know what that meant until now.”

 

He nodded. “Yes… And I feel like I’ve been making things harder for everyone by complaining about how loud it is...Sissix is incredibly impressive.”

 

Ashby blinked at the sudden digression. “She certainly is, but where did that come from?”

 

“To fly like she can when she can’t even see. I know I give her directions, but I can’t tell her everything. I don’t know how she can possibly fly the way she does if she can’t even see where she’s going.”

 

He scrunched up, looking back down at the floor. “I never worked to be able to do what I do the way she does. It was just given to me.”

 

“And yet, even know I know how impossibly hard they all must have worked I… I feel like…”

 

Ashby nodded. This time he knew what to say. “You know, the woman I love can’t hear.”

 

Ohan’s ears pricked. He was completely jarred from his slump“Pei? Well… Yes I suppose as an Aeulon she has no natural auditory processing capability, but that is hardly a burden. She has a translator. She has something that can help her hear.”

 

Ashby smiled. “What do you think I hired you for?”

 

Ohan stared at him. Eyes somehow even wider than usual.

 

Ashby got up and dusted himself off. “No one can do everything Ohan. Anyway, dinner’s in half an hour. You should come down if you’re up for it. Rosemary’s worried sick.”

 

That said, he bowed and left.

 

#

 

Ohan slunk down the hall to the kitchen. It wasn’t dinner time just yet, but a lot of the crew came in early.

 

To his surprise, Kizzie and Rosemary were already at the table. Their conversation stopped as soon as he arrived.

 

He climbed up into a chair next to them. “Hey…” He said. “I… I’m sorry. I made a mountain out of a molehill and I didn’t want to… What’s that phrase…? Freak you out?”

 

The two humans exchanged a look, and smiled. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

Ohan smiled back.

 

Dr Chef came out from behind his counter. His long, many footed body staring down at the Sianat. “Ohan! I’m so glad you’re feeling up to having dinner again.”

 

Ohan nodded. “I wouldn’t miss it.”

 

That said, he hopped into a chair next to rosemary and turned to her, more uncertain than he’d expected.

 

He cleared his throat. “Can… Can I tell you about the stars?”

 

Rosemary smiled.

 


End file.
